Upbringing Dynamics

The dynamics of everyone’s upbringing are interesting.  Some of us have fond memories about our childhood and upbringing while others are not so fond. We might have been brought up with strict, authoritarian parents and others with permissive parents.  As grown adults, we have to learn to realize that our parents did their best with what they had to foster our upbringings.  We might not have always agreed with their parenting, the punishments, or how they dealt with certain situations, but they too learned from their parents. 

 

Prior to having children, we should consider whether we want to follow in our parent’s footsteps or create our own parenting style. Do we want to reprimand our children the way our parents did? Do we want to give our children responsibilities they are not ready for? Do we want our children to grow up in a positive, calm, and nourishing household?  All of these questions and more should be answered before we become parents.  Once we become parents, we tweak and tweak, learn and grow with our children, as they too will show us knew things. 

A child who was always responsible for his/her siblings, chores and was told to take the role of a father, will have a tough time acting as a child when child initiated activities are brought to him/her.  A child who is screamed at and reprimanded for every little thing, and is not given positive feedback in any circumstance, is most likely going to bring those same attributes to his family once he gets older.   Balancing what we’ve seen and heard is very hard especially when it’s seen from an elder.  We tend to think that they know best, after all, they brought us up and we came out ok.  We might be okay, but when out buttons are pushed our inner actions come out and the true us is seen.   These types of negative impacts can be seen through different aspects of our lives, and we have to learn to control them, and do away with them before children come into the scene as they can be hurt in the process. 

 

Seeking the wisdom of God is so vital to our parenthood journey.  “Get wisdom, get understanding…do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you” (Proverbs 4:6, 7- NIV). As parents we have to learn to push away the negative attributes of our upbringing, and work on how we want to raise our own children.  We need to allow our children to feel the love we have for them, cherish them, make them a priority in life and enjoy every minute we receive with them.   They grow up fast and although we will never be perfect parents, trying to be good parents and learning from our mistakes is the best we can do as parents.  So, turn the not so fond memories into a positive outcome; it will benefit your children in the long run!