Calm your Mind, Body and Soul

The last couple of blogs have been about life’s expectations and motherhood.  These two aspects of life can take a toll on us mothers and at times we don’t know when to say no or how to stop.  I know I have this problem.  I over extend my abilities, and want to do everything and help everyone.  As Christian women, wives, mothers, daughters, granddaughters, sisters, and aunts, we need to learn when to take time out for ourselves and relax. 

 

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to relax.  Although I did work on some laundry, cooked and cleaned, I managed to unwind.  I gave myself the time to build up a bubble bath, placed some eucalyptus oil in the bath, gathered candles and lit up the bathroom with their scent, and dimmed the lights.  Soothing music was playing and I was in rest mode.  It was my time.  No one was home so I was able to read in the bath and just relax.  I tell you, those 20 minutes helped relax me for the whole weekend.  “But I have calmed and quieted myself, I am like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child I am content” (Psalm 131:2).

We don’t have to do anything extravagant to help us relax; just take some time for you.  Tell those in your family that you need a break. Then plan for it, and take the time to pamper yourself. 

 

 

Some ideas:

• Do your nails: make a foot bath, massage your feet, cut your cuticles, and paint your own nails

• Take a bubble bath and simply relax.  Don’t think … just lather in the quietness of life

• After the kiddos are in bed or in the early morning, take some time to read…Gay Norton Edelman says in Find Time for What You Love, “actually makes you a better mom because it replenishes the well your kids are always drawing from.”  Reading relaxes the brain and allows you to prepare for the day or night by calming your mind.

• If the children nap during the day or have quiet time, take some of that time for yourself.  Do something you truly enjoy!

• If you enjoy arts, being creative or enjoy nature, make the time to have the possibility to get your creative inner self out again.  Your children can enjoy this too.

• Writing

• Exercise

• Enjoy a hot cup of tea, hot cocoa, a cozy blanket and no noise

• Take a nap

I personally love painting things. I don’t have a lot of time for it, but it relaxes me and I feel a sense of accomplishment when the product is done. I have started to teach my daughter that not all activities have to be very active. So I put on some soothing music and I’ve been teaching her that its relaxing time. She’s been learning to listen to the music and allows herself to calm her body. In the future, I will introduce art into this mood, allowing us to relax during this time and although she is with me, we can learn to relax together. :)

The less time you take for yourself the more resentful you will become.  “A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel” (Proverbs 15:18).  You don’t always have to be going, going, going like the energizer bunny.  As much as our husbands and children need us, we need ourselves as well.  We need to feed our souls with things we enjoy and allow ourselves to take some time out to enjoy what we like to do.  Everyone will benefit in the end.  When mom is happy, everyone else is too.  “They were glad when it grew calm, and he guided them to their desired haven” (Psalm 107:30).

 

 

It's Not All About You

The title of this blog is “it’s not all about you!” What? Does that seem right?  It should be all about us, but the reality is, that’s it’s not and it shouldn’t be.  We live in a very self-centered society where personal gain is the priority.  However, Jesus lived by another set of rules.

 

Matthew 20:28 says that “the Son of Man (Jesus) did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life a ransom for many.” This is how we need to approach life.  We should always be looking for ways to serve others, to bless others, and to give to others.  As we focus on serving others, God will take care of our needs. “Acts 20:35 says that “it is more blessed to give than to receive” and it’s true.  Not only is there satisfaction in giving to others but God blesses us for blessing others.  It’s a win-win!

When God gave the Ten Commandments, he began with loving God and loving your neighbor.  This order was established so that we could give priority to our creator and so that we could be a blessing to others.  Matthew 6:33 says: “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” In others words, seek him and his way of doing things and he’ll take care of everything else that you need.

We all have a sphere of influence.  Whether it’s at work, with our family, our community, etc…To be a blessing to others and live out the example Jesus left for us, we must begin with humility.  Ken Blanchard and Phil Hodges in their book Lead Like Jesus said: “The humility that Jesus demonstrated did not arise from lack of self-esteem, love, power, or ability.  His humility came from the fact that he knew who he was, where he came from, where he was going, and whose he was.  That permitted him to treat people with love and respect.” In such a way, we need to know that we are children of God, created by him and for his purpose.  And part of that purpose, is to be a blessing to others.  “You are called to be a good steward of your season of influence in service to a plan that was set in motion before you came on the scene.  Your influence will extend beyond your exit in the hearts and minds of those entrusted to your care.” (Blanchard and Hodges)

Take notice of your sphere of influence and live according to Jesus’ standards.  Be a blessing to those entrusted to your care. Because it’s not all about you, it’s about others!

 

 

Upbringing Dynamics

The dynamics of everyone’s upbringing are interesting.  Some of us have fond memories about our childhood and upbringing while others are not so fond. We might have been brought up with strict, authoritarian parents and others with permissive parents.  As grown adults, we have to learn to realize that our parents did their best with what they had to foster our upbringings.  We might not have always agreed with their parenting, the punishments, or how they dealt with certain situations, but they too learned from their parents. 

 

Prior to having children, we should consider whether we want to follow in our parent’s footsteps or create our own parenting style. Do we want to reprimand our children the way our parents did? Do we want to give our children responsibilities they are not ready for? Do we want our children to grow up in a positive, calm, and nourishing household?  All of these questions and more should be answered before we become parents.  Once we become parents, we tweak and tweak, learn and grow with our children, as they too will show us knew things. 

A child who was always responsible for his/her siblings, chores and was told to take the role of a father, will have a tough time acting as a child when child initiated activities are brought to him/her.  A child who is screamed at and reprimanded for every little thing, and is not given positive feedback in any circumstance, is most likely going to bring those same attributes to his family once he gets older.   Balancing what we’ve seen and heard is very hard especially when it’s seen from an elder.  We tend to think that they know best, after all, they brought us up and we came out ok.  We might be okay, but when out buttons are pushed our inner actions come out and the true us is seen.   These types of negative impacts can be seen through different aspects of our lives, and we have to learn to control them, and do away with them before children come into the scene as they can be hurt in the process. 

 

Seeking the wisdom of God is so vital to our parenthood journey.  “Get wisdom, get understanding…do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you” (Proverbs 4:6, 7- NIV). As parents we have to learn to push away the negative attributes of our upbringing, and work on how we want to raise our own children.  We need to allow our children to feel the love we have for them, cherish them, make them a priority in life and enjoy every minute we receive with them.   They grow up fast and although we will never be perfect parents, trying to be good parents and learning from our mistakes is the best we can do as parents.  So, turn the not so fond memories into a positive outcome; it will benefit your children in the long run!

 

 

Diligently Seeking

I’ve begun training for a 5K run.  It’s my first event and it’s to help raise money for a charitable organization that I’m proud to sponsor.  The training, so far, hasn’t been too bad since I have been jogging periodically as part of my regular exercise regime.  However, knowing the event is upcoming, certainly adds a level of intensity to my focus and training.  I find myself being much more careful about what I eat.  I printed out a training schedule that I strictly follow and have my husband serving as coach/motivator throughout the process.  What’s interesting is that I’ve put so much energy into researching and planning every detail for an event that won’t last long. And it made me question whether we put the same intensity, research and planning into the event that will take us into eternity- the coming and reign of our Lord, Jesus Christ!

Are we diligently praying, and studying the word; not just reading it?  Are we sharing our faith with others so that they too can have the blessing of salvation?  Are we putting in the hard work of practicing self-control and eliminating from our lives the things that aren’t pleasing to the Lord?  Are we growing the fruits of the Spirit so that others can be blessed?

 

Hebrews 2:3 says: “How shall we escape [appropriate retribution] if we neglect and refuse to pay attention to such a great salvation [as is now offered to us, letting it drift past us forever]?” Although training for a 5K, and planning other events are important to our life, we should not fail to be as diligent, if not more diligent, with our salvation.  “…work out (cultivate, carry out to the goal, and fully complete) your own salvation with reverence and awe and trembling (self-distrust, with serious caution, tenderness of conscience, watchfulness against temptation, timidly shrinking from whatever might offend God and discredit the name of Christ). [Not in your own strength] for it is God who is all the while effectually at work in you [energizing and creating in you the power and desire], both to will and to work for His good pleasure and satisfaction and delight” (Philippians 2:12-13).

Lets stay focused on what's truly important...eternal salvation!

 

Praising in the Storm

Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I once read the story of a woman who went to China as a missionary. She contracted smallpox during the days where there was no cure; this was considered a deadly disease. She had to be quarantined in her room and the smallpox covered her body from head to toe. Since she didn’t know what else to do, she began to seek God. He spoke to her and said to praise Him for His faithfulness and to keep His Word. God showed her a vision of two baskets. One basket represented the trial; this basket was full. The other basket represented her praise; this basket was half full. The Lord told her that she needed to fill her praise basket so that it would outweigh and overshadow her tests. He said to her “When your praise basket is full, your healing will be manifested.” She began to fervently seek and loudly praise The Almighty God, not for her healing, but for His faithfulness. No one had any hope or faith that she would live through this disease but still, she praised! She praised Him for all that He had done and all that He is. She thanked Him in advance for her healing. What was the result? God removed every mark of smallpox from her body and she was completely healed.

 

 

Praise is the cure to get you through any storm! When you can’t see your way through a storm, praise gives you vision. When you think you just can’t go on, praise is what will give you the strength. When the enemy comes against you, praise will make him flee! When the Israelites arrived at the enemy’s camp, not one of the enemy soldiers was alive! If the Israelite army can offensively march out against the enemy in praise and then God finishes the battle, how much more will He fight your battles for you? The Israelites knew that God was going to do just what He said based on what He had already done for them. We can take a great lesson from this. Think about the things that God has done for you up to this point, and reflect on the promises that He has for your future. God allows battles in our lives to increase our faith.

 

The amount of your praise determines your breakthrough! Remember that the battle is not yours – it belongs to God! Be fully persuaded that God has power to do what he has promised (Romans 4:21). Stand firm on His word believing that He will fight every battle and bring you through any circumstance. Praise Him not only when the battle is over but when you are going through it. Don’t wait to praise Him after the situation changes. Praise Him to change the situation! Don’t praise Him because of the circumstance; praise Him in spite of the circumstance! Praise God in faith because of what He is going to do in your life. Praise is the cure for everything so take your position!

 

“And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure in fact whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be same person who walked in.” - Haruki Murakami

 

 

Ask God

The frustration of life, life’s issues, financial issues, uncertainties, and the list goes on, may take a huge toll in your life.  Sometimes you have those moments where you are totally done with everything and just want to walk away. You wish that you had no worries and could live a care free life.  You pray and pray and seek for guidance, and God allows you to feel His peace within the storm. Then there are those times when you need more than peace, and you just want to be held.  You ask God over and over and over again, “Please Lord, all I desire is a HUG.  I need to be held.” 

“For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened” (Matthew 7:8).  At times, the hug you need is around the corner, but you miss out because you have become angry and hold resentment in your heart.  The hug might not be coming from someone you want to hug at that moment in time, but it is sent from the Lord.  That blessed hug would have been so intense that all of your worries would have disappeared.  Now, you step back only to realize,” oh my, what have I done. I just refused what I’ve been asking the Lord to bless me with this whole time.”  Now, sadness sets in your heart since you’ve just pushed away what you’ve been longing for.

Allow the Lord to work in your life and don’t push away what is yours- sit back, analyze and accept it.  Don’t let the worries of life over flow in your inner soul and harden it. Ask and allow yourself to receive.  “If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer” (Matthew 21:22).

 

 

Throw in the Red Flag

It was one of those days where the kids aren’t listening, you aren’t seeing eye-to-eye with the hubby and you feel overworked and under-appreciated.  Ever had one of those days?  Well I did.  The last straw was when I came out to the living room to find the same mess that I had asked the children to pick up 30 minutes prior.  And although in retrospect, it probably wasn’t that big of deal but at that moment, it was enough to break me down into tears.  It wasn’t the pillows thrown on the floor, or the books left out, or the shoes under the table, it was the lack of obedience and lack of consideration that got to me. 

 

Like many mothers and wives, I take great pride in keeping up with the household chores, making sure that my husband is taken care of and that my kids have everything they need.  So I take it as a personal attack (even though it’s not) when I feel like I’m working hard but my hard work is being taken for granted or feeling like my own family is working against me.

I decided to go out for a walk, cry out my frustrations, and vent to God.  As I was talking to him, I began to ask him for help and wisdom.  I expressed my desire to honor him through serving my family.  At the same time, I complained about my family and their behavior.  As my venting session continued, the thought came to me that God knew exactly how I was feeling at the moment because he experiences that same behavior from us.  He does so much for us, he blesses us, heals us, restores us and yet, we take it for granted.  We take his mercy and grace for granted, intentionally or not, but the reality is that we do.  And yet, God doesn’t throw in the red flag.  He doesn’t give up on us!

As I was humbled by this thought, I asked God for forgiveness and thanked him for his grace.  I took a deep breath, and went back home to continue to serve my family.  Thankfully, seeing me break down into tears sent out the red alert signal--- the “oh, oh, we pushed mommy beyond her limits” signal--- so when I returned, the kids had picked up their mess and apologized for their behavior.  The hubby was in much better spirits also, and the day turned around for the better. 

So the next time, you feel like throwing in the red flag, don’t!  Take a deep breath, seek the Lord in prayer for wisdom, and he will give you the strength to get through any situation you are facing.  “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13).

 

 

Get Balanced, Live Purposely

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21). What things are you treasuring?  Are your priorities in line with God’s word or have you lost your balance? 

In order for us to live with purpose, we must ensure we have our priorities in check. The word teaches us that God has to be the first priority.  “For by Him all things were created that are in heaven and that are on earth… All things were created through Him and for Him” (Colossians 1:16). Clearly, we were created by him and for him so if God isn’t our first priority then we will always be seeking to fill an empty void that is only satisfied with his presence. 

If you are married, next in line of priority, should be your husband.  Titus 2:4 advises women to love their husbands and love their children.  And I believe there is a purpose behind the order of these of words.  Sometimes we get so engulfed in our children that we neglect our husbands.  We must act with wisdom and not get off balance.  Ephesians 5:22 tells wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord.  As we honor our husbands, we are also bringing honor to God. 

If you are blessed with motherhood, then we have to love and train our children.  Proverbs 22:6 says: “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.”  We should be praying to God daily for wisdom to raise our children even more so during these days when the world is throwing so many distractions at them. 

So again I ask… what things are you treasuring?  Are your top priorities aligned with growing your relationship with God and nurturing your family? If not, I urge you to do some serious soul searching.  Ask God to help you prioritize and get your life in balance.  “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you” (Matthew 6:33).

I once heard Jillian Michaels say that “most people don’t show up for their own lives and they never bring their A game.”  I love that quote because it’s so true.  We rummage through life and forget to bring our A game.  We forget what truly matters.  We forget to set and reset our priorities.  I encourage you today to renew your mind through the word.  Act in the wisdom you obtain through the Spirit.  Live consciously and purposely! 

Overcome the Floods

I came across this verse in the bible and it caught my attention.  “When the enemy comes in like a flood, the Spirit of the Lord will lift up a standard against him.” (Isaiah 59:19, NKJ) When I researched floods, I found commonalities in the information. 

1)      Floods often catch us by surprise.  We may watch the weather report give a flood warning, but no one ever thinks that they will actually be personally impacted.

2)      Floods can cause life or death situations that can impact yourself and/or family.

3)      Advisors always recommend that people experiencing floods should climb to higher ground.

Maybe you haven’t experienced a flood in the natural, but you have experienced an emotional flood.  Sometimes life comes at us like a flood with problems attacking us and/or families. You may feel you are drowning by the floods and you can’t seem to catch a break and come up for air. Climb!  Climb to higher ground! 

 

 

When the floods come, it’s time for us to reach out to the Lord who is on higher ground, and find refuge in him.  As we pray and give praises, the Lord will lift up a standard against our enemy.  The American Heritage Dictionary describes a standard as “an emblem or flag of an army, raised on a pole to indicate the rallying point in a battle.” Can you just imagine that?  The Lord planting his flag at the rallying point, claiming his territory and proclaiming victory against any situation you may be facing.  Thank God that there’s refuge for those who seek him.

Be encouraged today.  Regardless of what you are facing, there’s a higher power; there’s a higher ground.  Your time has come.  “Arise [from the depression and prostration in which circumstances have kept you—rise to a new life!] Shine (be radiant with the glory of the Lord), for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you!” (Isaiah 60:1, Amplified)

 

 

Clouded Kindness

Though this holiday season might be joyful for you, it might not be for others. We get caught up in frenzy about all of the holiday gifts we need to buy, the holiday decorations, and the holiday foods to make/bake. Unfortunately, we tend to forget those around us. The rush of going out into our fast paced lives causes us to forget about those who are truly in need.

 

I recently saw a show where two brothers and a sister were feuding about letting the sister’s male friend live with them. The male friend was a homeless man who had a couple of disabilities and needed medication. These brothers forgot that they too were once homeless, and needed the help of someone when they were thrown to the streets. The sister was also homeless and this man helped her get back on her feet. So now, she felt it was her turn to help out.

 

 

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness…” (Galatians 5:22). Out of the kindness of her heart, she felt the need to give back. The brothers were just looking at the negative side of this man’s life, and not giving him the opportunity to rebuild his life. This homeless man, once owned his own place, helped his mother out and was successful. Unfortunately, he lost it all as his mother suffered on her death bed and passed away. He no longer had a place to live or job since he took care of his mother during her last days. He didn’t expect any of this to happen. He searched for jobs, but struggled to obtain one since he didn’t have a place to live in and clean up. Eventually the brothers realized that they had to give back and allowed their sister and her companion to remain in the household.

At times, we are so stubborn and caught up in our own world that we forget about what others may be going through. Remember that just because someone is smiling and allowing you to feel that they are okay, it doesn’t mean they are. Be moved by the Spirit and allow yourself to be open-minded when you see someone that might need your help. “I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take some of the power of the Spirit that is on you and put it on them. They will share the burden of the people with you so that you will not have to carry it alone” (Numbers 11:17). Feel the presence of the Lord, and listen to it. Don’t allow your kindness to be clouded. Be a blessing to others!